Posts by Lee Marsh

29

Chessa Manion: When A Victim Becomes The Perp

by NonCoinCollector in

this is a hard one for me to write and words can't describe my frustration in seeing this.

from wbko news: .

bowling green, ky. (wbko) - bowling green police have arrested two people on multiple charges following a rape.. police say the victim told them she was kidnapped, raped, and assaulted.. police also say the rape was recorded by a man named colton hogendorn, who was arrested after police found him on 25 chestnut street.. hogendorn is charged with rape first degree, kidnapping, strangulation, assault, sodomy, and video voyeurism.. police also arrested chessa manion, who was present during the events, and arrested and charged with complicity to the same charges.. both were taken to the warren county regional jail.. .

Lee Marsh

The reality is that jails are filled with people who were victims of sexual abuse as a child and never got the help they needed. MOST people don't become perpetrators. But many do. Early research on CSA was done on prisoners and the rates of victim-to-perpetrator were extremely high leading to the false belief that we all become perpetrators. The study was skewed however because of the population they were studying - prisoners.

The rates change drastically when you study the general population.

While there are some women who do become perpetrators on their own that is actually pretty rare and most often the abuser has serious and untreated mental health issues.

When a woman isn't alone, the abuse occurs while she is present with a male abuser or she may be activitely involved she is almost always under the influence of the male and often substance abuse is an issue.

9

Half of disfellowshipped one suicidal?

by ExBethelitenowPIMA in

jw
friends

this ex brother says about half of disfellowshipped ones are suicidal at about 43 minutes into this video https://youtube.com/watch?v=otcdksnf4zo&feature=sharec.

it really is that brutal having your family and friends shun you that many unfortunately do actually take their own lives including steve letts nephew.. no wonder the drastic change in the elders book to not have any more judicial committees if suspected it would make them suicidal.. this is probably one of the largest changes in recent history that most rank and file don’t know about yet.. how it will work in practice i just don’t know.

what if someone keeps sinning but says it’s weakness not wickedness and they are suicidal?

Lee Marsh

it really is that brutal having your family and friends shun you that many unfortunately do actually take their own lives including Steve Letts nephew.

Yes it is. It is even worse than losing your family and friends which is traumatic.

You lose your religion. Your entire community. Remember that as JWs you don't have outside associations. So zap. Every person in your life will turn their back on you.

You have been betrayed by the very people you are supposed to trust the most and who are supposed to guide and protect you.

Worse still is that you lose your identity. Ask a JW who are you and most of the time they will say they are JWs. Before work. Before marital status. "I AM A JEHOVAH'S WITNESS". That is who they are. They have been taught from the beginning that being a JW is who they are and is the only thing that will save them. Without that identity they are doomed to have a miserable life and die alone.

They have been taught to avoid ex-JWs and oddly, after leaving, many still think they have to avoid ex-JWs because that will make their lives even worse.

Many don't have post-secondary educations so getting a job and supporting themselves is harder.

If they have a family they may believe that the family is better off without them.

It is extremely depressing to go through a traumatic experience like this. Depression, severe, debilitating depression goes with the trauma. And since JWs are generally warned not to seek therapy/counseling, that door is closed to them too.

Believing they have absolutely nothing left, many think they should just quit living.

Being disfellowshipped is one trauma. The shunning multiplies that more than a hundred times over.

13

Did The Australian Royal Commission Actually Achieve Anything?

by NotFormer in

i've been going through past threads on here during the period i was not very interested in what was going on in jw world.

the australian royal commission era caused a great deal of excitement and inspired some hope, but did any good come of it?.

the 2 witness rule in child sexual assault cases still exists, and elders still don't call the police and try to handle things in house.

Lee Marsh

ARC was not a legal/Criminal investigation. They had no power to arrest or charge onayone or any corporation.

The website says:

On 12 November 2012 the then Prime Minister, Julia Gillard, announced that she would recommend to the Governor-General that a Royal Commission be appointed to inquire into institutional responses to child abuse.

https://www.childabuseroyalcommission.gov.au/final-report

The Commission was an inquiry; a study. It studied the problem and made recommendations. Period.

What it accomplished was to show just how big the problem was in Australia and that there was a need for changes. They could only recommend changes; not enforce them.

What it also accomplished was the awakening of many JWs as they followed the case and watched and/or read the transcripts.

The fact that they got a GB member on the stand and JWs who watched or read saw him lie was huge. Yes he could claim "theocratic war strategy" and that the court was further down the food chain from Jehovah but some people saw through the lies to the real truth. In that sense it was a real win for many people.

And it has become a building block for other lawyers to watch as they actually to charge JWs and the org for not reporting child abuse where they are legally required to do so.

And it highlighted that they will put the org before the needs and rights of the children they are supposed to be caring for.

27

I wonder whatever became of the JW 'don't masturbate' guy?

by SydBarrett in

jw
friends

this guy: how embarrassing.it's also sad that when it was being filmed, no one thought to tell him "you don't have to over do it..they'll get the point.."now he lives forever in internet infamy.

.

Lee Marsh

As an interpreter in the congregation I would spell those words and never sign them. I would have died of shame at being so graphic with my own children watching.

167

Anthony Morris the III has been FOUND

by Terry in

jw
friends

note: photos can be found on the blue envelope channelhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-nakezkhqbmtony and susan morris are living in lumberton, north carolina.

a real estate document on the robeson county website is filed:.

the religious order of jehovah's witnesses has provided a "life estate" for them.they can live in this townhouse until they are deceased or choose to move away and in either case the ownership becomes entirely the property of jehovah's witnesses.

Lee Marsh

The very last thing the WTS wants is for Tony to write a tell-all book to support himself in his final years.

Maybe they are capable of learning from their mistakes. Franz taught them a lot it seems.

A solid NON-DISCLOSURE AGREEMENT was probably part of the deal.

39

Only baptised JWs will make it?

by ExBethelitenowPIMA in

i think it was a john cedars video or someone else’s where the point was brought up that only baptised jws will be saved?

then one talk about kids of baptised jws hope they will make it but even them don’t know.

most jws probably think that some good people who are not baptised may make it through, but this is not official teaching?.

Lee Marsh

I distinctly remember hearing and reading that being baptized was no guarantee of getting through. We were told that even if we were doing everything to the best of our ability, J could read our heart and mind and decide we were not good enough.

Now, I suspect that by saying that they could pressure people to monitor their thoughts and behaviors to align them with WT/JW teachings. Work harder. Do more. Pay attention to what you do and think both in public and in private. It might also have been a chain around the necks of some who were leading double lives.

Instilling fear is a great motivator, sadly often to those who are already do their best and still think it isn't good enough. For those who were sitting on the fence, I doubt they were "encouraged" to do more.

36

Treatment of Those Trying For Reinstatement

by Vanderhoven7 in

what happens when a jehovah’s witness who has been disfellowshipped returns to attending the meetings again?.

mark jones writes:.

if it's the same congregation that they previously attended then, yes, the congregation will remember who they are and so continue to treat them as dead or invisible.. one of the identifying marks a cult is that it uses shame and humiliation to control members, to keep them from leaving and manipulating those who escaped into coming back.. a disfellowshipped person is never allowed to quietly leave with dignity.

Lee Marsh

OMG incog. Fricking unbelievable. But I do believe it.

Fooled - when you are the victim of abuse, you can't see it for what it is. You think you can fix it, stop, it or that it is your fault. Women, in particular are programmed to be submissive so they stay. Also the wedding vows of "til death do us part" are too often taken quite literally. And if you were baptized and supposedly made a vow to God then you submit to what you believe are His rules

36

Treatment of Those Trying For Reinstatement

by Vanderhoven7 in

what happens when a jehovah’s witness who has been disfellowshipped returns to attending the meetings again?.

mark jones writes:.

if it's the same congregation that they previously attended then, yes, the congregation will remember who they are and so continue to treat them as dead or invisible.. one of the identifying marks a cult is that it uses shame and humiliation to control members, to keep them from leaving and manipulating those who escaped into coming back.. a disfellowshipped person is never allowed to quietly leave with dignity.

Lee Marsh

Lee, he was teaching you to be hUmBlE. Asshat

Like I was humble for 15 years of abuse

Definitely had enough and it cured me for good from ever wanting to go back

36

Treatment of Those Trying For Reinstatement

by Vanderhoven7 in

what happens when a jehovah’s witness who has been disfellowshipped returns to attending the meetings again?.

mark jones writes:.

if it's the same congregation that they previously attended then, yes, the congregation will remember who they are and so continue to treat them as dead or invisible.. one of the identifying marks a cult is that it uses shame and humiliation to control members, to keep them from leaving and manipulating those who escaped into coming back.. a disfellowshipped person is never allowed to quietly leave with dignity.

Lee Marsh

DFed in 1985. Considered going back around 1990. So I met with one of the elders on my committee.

He said I had to attend all meetings and meet certain standards.

OK

So I went to the next Sunday meeting. The elder saw me. Knew I was there and he was conducting the Watchtower study. so....

He excused the person who was supposed to read and asked me ex to do it. My ex did not know I was there although I am not sure I believe that. his new wife sat there and glared at me constantly.

So I grit my teeth and put up with it - some kind of test.

Then the elder who knew of the abuse my ex subjected me to, knew because my ex told him everything, this elder who I considered a father figure, asked my ex to say the prayer.

Done. I am out of here.

He didn't want me back. The last thing he wanted was for me to be reinstated and start talking about the abuse my ex- who was an elder, had inflicted on me and our 2 children.

They protect their own. To hell with women and children.

No wonder both his sons left the Witnesses as soon as they were grown!

168

Moral responsibility.

by nicolaou in

no subtlety here, it's going to be obvious where i'm going with this.

please consider the following scenario.. you're seated on a railway platform bench waiting for your train.

a high speed intercity is about to hurtle through without stopping when you see a small child running to the platforms edge!

Lee Marsh

Iriddle80.

I am glad you found some inner peace. I have traced the abuse in my family at least 4 generations. But it stopped with me. I wasn't perfect by any means. I had to learn from my parent' mistakes and do something different. But I often had no idea what "different' was. But my daughter has taken the next step and improved on what I did. Hopefully her daughter will do even better.

Your sister was a child and some leniency is expected. BUT she is an adult now and like you, nee4ds to accept some responsibility for the pain she caused. But whether she ever does that or not, YOU get to move forward.